Firsts

Dear Luke: This was a summer of firsts for you! Some, of course, were more exciting than others. But all of it was valuable. You went on your very first "big kid" roller coaster at King's Dominion (thank you, season passes). You went on your very first sleepover (at Liam's). You got stung by a hornet for the first time. And you learned how to swim for the very first time! The bee sting was pretty dramatic. You cried/screamed for about 45 minutes. It was on your finger and it did swell a little but man, did you carry on. But then, just like that, it was over. And we can all sigh a big sigh of relief that NO, you are NOT allergic to bees! ;) The first roller coaster was awesome! I'm a lover of roller coasters myself and being able to go on w/ you was very special for me! The best part was, you were so scared but you wanted to do it so much. Watching you put that fear aside and conquer it was so amazing and I was so proud of you. And now, you can't wait to go on even bigger ones! Not to mention, I'm pretty impressed that you always, always, raise both hands over your head! I don't even do it! ;) The sleepover. Currently, Liam is one of your best friends and we are very good friends with his whole family. We live only 5 minutes apart and since you two get along so well, we thought it would be perfect. I was ready to come and get you at 2am, when you woke up scared and wanting to come home. My phone was by my bedside and I was dressed and ready. My sleep was restless as it didn't feel the same at home without you. I kept checking the clock and my phone and still no call. When I finally woke up at 7am, I couldn't believe it. You did it. Your first sleepover--a complete success. I should never have expected anything less from you. You are, simply wonderful. Not that it would have made you less wonderful had you wanted to come home. Not at all. It's just that you continually surprise me with how grown up you have become. When I came over to pick you up a few hours later, you were happy and content and didn't have any inclination to come home. I admit, I was a bit confused on how to feel about this. Why didn't you want to come home? Was it better or more fun at their house? What was I doing wrong? Nothing. I wasn't doing anything wrong. In fact, everything was just right. You were just right. Somehow, quite by accident, you turned out happy and secure and confident. Right before my eyes. Swimming. By far, your biggest accomplishment this summer, maybe even all year. In summers past, you've been terrified of the water. Unsure and clingy and always screaming. I was convinced lifeguards would throw us out of pools b/c of all your screaming. And I admit: this always irritated me. I grew up swimming. Almost every memory of my childhood summers includes daily swimming. I took lessons most every day of every summer until I was in high school! Every dream vacation I've ever gone on and want to go on, includes a body of water and swimming. I couldn't understand your intense fear and I was determined to change it. Not that I had anything to do with it. It was all you, baby! We just helped pave the way for you and you grabbed the opportunity and soared with it! Two things were different this summer. First, we joined a community pool and second, we got you private swim lessons at this pool. Both were the best things we did all summer! The almost daily exposure to the water helped alleviate your fear. And the 12 lessons you had, gave you the confidence to know you could do it. In the very first lesson, you went under the water. Something you'd never done before. And by the end of all the lessons, you are swimming!! You jump in over your head all by yourself and swim! Not the forward crawl (yet) or anything, but you can do it. You are completely comfortable having us OUTSIDE of the pool just watching you play around and swim with your friends. I can still barely comprehend the huge difference between the beginning of the summer and now. It seriously is amazing. There's no other words for it. Miraculous too. Your Dad and I are so very proud of you. And yes, next year, there will be more swim lessons! ;)

Kindergarten Fears

Dear Luke: I can hardly believe that it's almost time for you to enter kindergarten. You are 5 1/2 years old and lately I look at you and I'm not sure where the time went. I know this is a common conundrum for parents everywhere, but I'm still amazed by you. I think back to my tiny, chubby, baby boy who screamed for hours every day as a newborn beginning at 4pm. I remember how you had to be swaddled tightly for the first 6 months of your life. I remember just holding you in my arms while you napped. And I remember the countless hours we spent playing trains, drawing/coloring and just hanging out together. Now, you are such a big kid! You and your friends now play with little interference from me or any other mom and I'm just stunned at how you've flourished in just 2 years. I still remember that shy little boy who wouldn't leave my legs at the playground; the little boy who would rather hang out with me than explore the Play Area at Chick-Fil-A. Now, there's no stopping you. Now, you ask me to leave. You are so strong and independent and I've loved every moment of watching you grow. I'm going to miss you so much this year. Admittedly, part of it is selfish. You are so easy going and laid back; Jake and I are the emotional, temperamental ones and sometimes I am nervous how we'll survive each other without your even keeled personality to balance it all out. And I am sad for Jake who will lose his best and most favorite playmate for most hours of the day, most days of the week. And though I know that because you are so much like your Dad, everyone will love you--teachers and kids alike, I still worry. You will be making your own friends now. And that is hard for me. For the past 2 years, it's been ME searching out friends for you, via the mom's group. And you've made some wonderful, amazing, true friends. But, I'm entering into unknown waters here and I'm not sure how this whole social situation goes for a 5 year old, but I know it's just the beginning and I trust in you to make good friends and good choices, but it's still worrisome. I worry you'll be left out or feel sad and I won't be there to buffer it or make it better. I know that's part of growing up and you are so delightful and funny and charming (DIMPLES!) that it will be okay; better than okay, but I'm your mom and I still worry. We'll get through this together, you and I. We always have and we always will; we've been through a lot of challenges, you and I. And you continually surprise me with how intelligent and observant you really are about the world. The ups and downs of this first year of school will be challenging and wonderful all at once. As much as I dread it, I will embrace it--at least until summer vacation, when I'll have you home with me again, if only for a little while.