I Would Trade My Husband For a What?

So, I've gotten caught up in the new book entitled, "I Would Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper". The two (obviously)female authors were on Oprah the other day and while I agree with their sentiment, that motherhood is THE toughest job out there, I can think of lots of other things I might need before a housekeeper--a nanny, a cook, and an organizer, are just a few!

But in all seriousness, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband. One who doesn't mind getting dirty in the trenches with me and who is always encouraging me to take some time for myself. The only problem with all of this is I cannot because I suffer from this self-defeating, invasive disease known as GUILT! No one told me that motherhood encompassed a WORLD filled with guilt. Guilt if I want to eat; guilt if I want to take a shower or sleep or talk on the phone for 10 minutes, or Heaven forbid, go to the bathroom--ALONE!!! As moms, we can experience guilt in just about any situation. It is for this reason, that I cannot simply "ditch" my kids with my wonderful husband for an afternoon of carefree shopping or to sleep away the morning. Instead, I find myself resenting how easily HE is able to get away for a little bit--completly and utterly guilt free! How dare he!

Oh and we don't just feel the guilt that we put on ourselves, we get this guilt from everywhere and everyone. We get it for the choices we make and the choices we don't make. Critics are lurking among topics of breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding; working outside the home vs. staying at home; co-sleeping vs. independent sleeping, etc. Really, we are our own worst enemies. Instead of saying, well this works best for THIS mom, so that's cool, we (and by "we" I mean everyone-other moms, the media, etc) feel the need to critique and second guess each other. Since motherhood is indeed the toughest, roughest job we'll ever take on, we should be supporting each other not just in the choices we've made, but in overcoming this war on guilt. We should encourage each other to get away for a few moments without feeling that our children will surely end up psychologically damaged; or that it is okay to leave our children in the care of (ghast!) someone other than family members for a little while. Moms need to recharge just like anyone else, and we'll all be happier for it, because as the saying goes, "if mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

So, in closing, I would NOT trade my husband for a housekeeper; I'll just let him do the housekeeping while I sleep--without feeling one once of guilt! :-)

NO more shopping!!!

Haha! So, I go from the shopping madness to none at all! Well, part of that is brought on by necessity since I now have a newborn and cannot drive for another week since I've had a C-Section! So, I have decided to challenge myself and Andy by not stepping into a grocery store for as long as possible. We really have so much food in this house from my OCD stockpiling and obsession with sales. So, other than milk/formula, juice, and some fresh produce, I am not buying ANYTHING in the grocery stores...my goal is 2 weeks. It may require some creativity, but I'm willing and (almost) able! I'll keep my blog updated with my successes/downfalls, as well as how much money we are able to save by doing this!

Welcome Jacob!!

So, my second born is here! He arrived safe and sound on March 19th and we have been home now for a little over a week!! He is just precious and I cannot wait to get to know his little personality! Luke has adapted wonderfully!! He's had the occassional meltdown, but he is really sweet with Jake and just eating up his big brother role! Actually, Luke's main issue is that I cannot do the things I normally do with him due to my C-Section recovery. During my surgery it was discovered that I had A LOT of scar tissue from my FIRST section, so I'm supposed to take it extra easy this time around...easier said than done. It breaks my heart to not be able to lift up my Luke into my arms or into his crib, etc. It's hard for him too, but we'll get there.

While I was pregnant, I struggled with the idea of being able to love TWO children and while I still wonder at it all, there is no doubt how very much I love my 2 sons. Still, it feels differnt in the house now...schedules and roles have changed as we are all adjusting to having a newborn in the house again. And while a part of me still misses the alone time Luke and I shared, I am thrilled to be able to share Jake with him and watch as he grows more and more responsible, caring, and helpful towards me and his little bro! My favorite part of the day is when Jake is alert and just watches Luke play...it is very precious to me. And ah, I cannot wait for the day when they play together...of course, I'm sure there will be fights and I'll have to intervene--but I'm really looking forward to that day! Bring it on!

Andy and I feel very blessed to have two wonderful baby boys (Luke will always be my "baby") and we really feel now that our family is complete...which leaves me as the only girl in the house...which is just PERFECT for me! ;-)

The Walgreens Olympics

Let me start by saying that we just recently got a Walgreens in my area, and even then, it is still a good 15-20 minute drive. I would never go there any time other than a Sunday morning, however, due to insane traffic enroute. However, this week they have a Huggies Diapers/Wipes sale I just couldn't pass up. So, four transactions later, here's how I did:

7 Packs of Huggies Diapers
2 Big Refill packs of Wipes
2 Packs of Napkins
1 Bottle of Coffee Mate
2 Boxes of Instant Coffee
2 Lysol Wipes
1 Sambucol
1 Garnier Styling Gel
1 Orajel Toothpaste
2 Bottles of Diet Coke
1 Candy Bar
2 Small Hand Sanitizers
1 Small jar of vaseline
2 Small boxes of Fig Newtons
2 Cans of Butterball Chick Broth
1 Bag of Gerber Yogurt Bites

GRAND TOTAL: Approx $52.00

I am very proud of myself and my wonderful hubby...he helped me do all this craziness! :-)

We also swung by Giant and finished up our grocery shopping...I came in about $9 over budget, but that is okay--THIS TIME! LOL! Once I have Jake, I should be able to shave a few dollars off the budget b/c we are soooo well stocked now! AND, the very best part is, that I don't have to step into a grocery store for AT LEAST 7 more days! Who-hoo!!!

March 1 2008 Shopping Trips

Ok, so to start off, since I'm giving birth in just under 2 weeks, I've been trying to stock up on stuff around the house to prevent the knee-jerk reaction to shopping on virtually no sleep. I mean, who will have time for coupons and reading internet boards just to keep up with the good deals?? Plus, as we all know about me, I'm a germaphobe and not brining my new baby out anywhere for a good few weeks! ;-) That being said, the grocery stores in my area have just started experimenting with high value doubling and even tripling of coupons. You can really get good deals this way for stockpiling if you do your research. As such, lately, I have been spending over $50/week. When this happens, I simply deduct from the next week. For example, I've already spent about $90 this week. So, I'm only going to spend approximately $10 more until March 15. Some might think this is crazy but we don't really NEED anything. Of course, I would never let my son go without, but if I run out of milk, well, there's always oatmeal (which of course, I have a huge stock of!!!).

Target: Total-$14.36

Bloom: $6.16

Giant: $68.77

GRAND TOTAL: $89.29

This includes A LOT of stock up items for Luke in particular, for the week I'll be in the hospital with Jake. Now, as stated, I have only $10 left to spend for next week. I know already that I will be spending a maximum of $15, however, in order to get 4 FREE items at Giant (my total needs to be at least $15 to qualify for the free items!) I don't stress if I go a few dollars above my budget each week, I know I need to be somewhat flexible. Plus, after this final trip for the week, I will have plenty of groceries, to include meat, bread, milk, and OJ for awhile!

I also made 2 trips to CVS this week and I got:

4 packs of diapers (3 pampers and 1 Playskool)
2 boxes of Carnation Instant breakfast
2 large cans of Arizona Iced Tea
1 bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper
4 Reece's Whips (for Andy!)
1 Makeup bag w/ eyeshadow

All for $18--which went on a G/C I got for transferring a Rx! I also earned $20 in ECB's, so a money maker overall. At this point, I am often using ECB's to buy groceries when the budget gets tight. I will typically buy snack foods and milk at CVS using my ECB's.

Shopping Madness!

On any given morning between 0930 and 1100 hours, you can find me out and about, as I like to say! This is the best time of day that Luke and I have worked into our schedule to run errands. Luke has been up for (at least) 3 hours already. We've had breakfast, played, showered and changed and usually about to dive into our morning snack (on the go, of course) and head out the door; or as Luke prefers to call it, "car ride-y". Every day he now requests to go "car ride-y". He does not exactly like to shop, per say, but he enjoys the car trip to various places. He's obsessed with stop signs, buses, trucks, tractors, railroad tracks, and anything loud that moves on the road...a typical little boy. Lucky for me, this breaks up our day and I am able to partake in a pasttime I have grown to love.

I say grown to love, because the shopping we do consists primarily for groceries, diapers, etc. Nothing fun like a new wardrobe type of shopping! So, I drag Luke in and out of CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Giant, Bloom, and Shoppers Food on any given day to score on the bargains. Since staying at home full time, we've really had to watch our budget (and who doesn't these days??) so I've tried to commit to spending only $50 a week on groceries and virtually nothing for diapers, OTC meds, paper products, cleaning products, and various health/beauty items. Each week I'm going to attempt to maintain a log here of what I get and how I do it. I'm a visual person and hate spreadsheets, so I'm just going to wing it here. Besides, I suspect not too many outsiders are lurking here! :-) Of course any and all questions and comments are welcome. And perhaps someday, I'll be brave enough to spread my blog around the internet, but until then, I'll hunker in safety.

Oh and let's hope baby #2 enjoys "Car ride-y" just as much as my Luke!

My firstborn

So, 24 more days until we welcome our second son, Jake, into our home. I'm getting very excited to finally meet this little guy! However, it took me about 7 months to actually get excited...despite the fact that we tried for 10 long months and really want this baby, I felt a little sad about losing my one on one time with Luke, my firstborn son. Sometimes, when I'm playing with Luke and listening to his giggles, I find myself thinking, 'only 24 more days of just the 2 of us'. Ever since I left my job at the end of May to stay at home with him full time, he and I have become even closer! I love our time together and it pulls at my heart to know that I won't be able to give him my 100% attention all the time. Is it really possible to have enough love for two children? Yes, I know it be true, technically, but to experience it myself...well, that is completely different. I've seen my own mother do it THREE times over...it is simply amazing. The following quote perfectly describes my feelings, so I want to document it here...

For Mothers of Two or More...by Unknown

As I walk along holding your 2 1/2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," Knowing in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her-- as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the look between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.

And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply. I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.